BBQ Bill
What Is It?: A husky Blue Collar Comedy reject tours the countryside meeting so-called interesting people, attempting to somehow relate every human hobby to BBQ.
Should It Be On TV?: Definitely not, but at the same time, it’s no worse than most time-filler segments on the Travel Channel.
Animate This!
What Is It?: Boring non-celebrities like George Takei and Jennifer Love Hewitt tell incredibly useless stories, which are set to unfunny animations.
Should It Be On TV?: Seeing as how it’s a complete rip-off of Comedy Central’s Shorties Watchin’ Shorties, it already has been. But no, neither show belongs on TV.
All Access: Middle Ages
What Is It?: A brash, overdone TV-magazine spoof set in the Middle Ages.
Should It Be On TV?: The costume and makeup budget gives it a higher production quality than most web shows, but the jokes are either poorly improvised or poorly written, making it nigh-unwatchable even on broadband.
Baxter & McGuire
What Is It?: The uncannily stupid adventures of two poorly rendered CGI testicles.
Should It Be On TV?: The idea is too skimpy to even work in one-minute segments. A half hour of talking nuts would send ratings to a new low. But it would still probably be funnier than Drawn Together.
Guacamole
What Is It?: Some lazy filmmakers place food items in front of a hand-held camera and then totally pretend the groceries are talking.
Should It Be On TV?: Maybe. It isn’t great, but when Lettuce makes a war documentary starring hot dog buns as the soldiers, it gets dangerously close to being stupid enough to work.
Balloon Heads
What Is It?: Some lazy filmmakers put cut-outs of celebrities’ faces on balloons attached to action figures, and then force them through horrible sketches that always end with the balloons bursting.
Should It Be On TV?: It’s so bad that it makes you pine for the hit-and-miss mediocrity of Robot Chicken. So no.
Moonwalk 1986
What Is It?: An unimaginatively shot series of conversations between two astronauts on the moon. In 1986. We guess.
Should It Be On TV?: The creators are attempting to give the Colonel the sort of sinister humor that made Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Tom Goes to the Mayor successful, except that their idea of sinister is using an unlicensed vacuum cleaner and other boring misdemeanors. If it were on TV, people would tune out faster than they would at their kid neighbor’s DV home movies.
Monsters
What Is It?: Badly drawn monsters have pointless adventures.
Should It Be On TV?: In addition to featuring animation that makes South Park look like Pixar, it’s also pretty much the dumbest thing we’ve ever seen. The latest installment features brilliant monster quips such as “You suck like a White House intern,” before quickly topping itself with “You suck worse than a Pauly Shore movie.” Edgy!
Good God
What Is It?: A workplace sitcom set in God’s office.
Should It Be On TV?: There are certainly worse shows on. The see-through attempts to borrow the “awkward humor” of The Office get old fast, but it does have its share of laughs, like when God’s assistant walks in on him attempting to lift objects while pretending to have paws, ultimately deciding that he “gave raccoons a raw deal.” Also, the Angel of Death as played by a shameless black grandpa is a pretty fantastic character.
Mark and Mike
What Is It?: A documentary series following Mark Borchardt and Mike Schank of American Movie fame as they promote their new movie and generally hang out and do nothing.
Should It Be On TV?: These guys can be great fun, but the filmmakers throw in every bit of footage they have, and there’s very little to get excited about. With a bigger budget, though, Mark and Mike could possibly work.
Superficial Friends
What Is It?: Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and the Olsen Twins get into all sorts of animated hijinks.
Should It Be On TV?: A show that makes fun of such easy targets is an easy target itself, so the Comedyblog will spare you a rant about just how unfunny this is. But no, it should definitely not be on TV.
Behind the Music That Sucks
What Is It?: Obviously, it’s a Behind the Music spoof profiling bands that supposedly suck, using animated photographs of the band members.
Should It Be On TV?: MTV has aired worse, but the attempts at media satire are wafer-thin, and it tends to try to get laughs by talking very fast and loud in silly Robin Williams voices.
Untitled News Comedy Show
What Is It?: A fake news show that features viewer-submitted jokes.
Should It Be On TV?: The Daily Show and Weekend Update pretty much have the market cornered on the comedy news format, and the viewer-submitted jokes are an excellent argument for why viewers should stay just that.
Nobody’s Watching
What Is It?: Two comedians perform short, pop-culture-savvy sketches.
Should It Be On TV?: Apparently, it almost was, after its Internet popularity convinced NBC to take a closer look at it. They decided no, and surely you’ll agree once you watch the skits, which use the same concept as the Scary Movie series, which is that merely reminding audiences of a movie or TV show they’ve seen equals comedy.
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